Stop saying “you’re lucky” to people when you really mean “I’m envious” of you. 

“Luck” presumes fate and discredits the work it takes to achieve a goal.

“Luck” fails to recognize that you wish you were in that person’s shoes.

“Luck” shifts blame from your shortcomings.

This was a tweet from a respected producer and someone I greatly admire. I sort of agree with his statement, but I also think that the subject is probably a lot more nuanced. 

While I do believe that some people who say “You are lucky.” really mean “I am jealous of you.” There is a level of luck in this industry that goes along with hard work and dedication. There is a level of luck in most aspects of life. If you look back on your career or your life there was one or many lucky breaks that helped you to become successful. At least I know that I had some luck in my vanilla life as well as my fetish life.

When I first started out I rented space from a photographer who was extremely unreliable. He never gave me a key to the studio so I was always dependent on him to let me in and one day he didn’t show for a shoot that I scheduled so I moved to someone’s guest cottage to shoot. That became my studio space for years as I developed my brand. My landlady then became one of my models. That had nothing to do with hard work it was pure luck. 

I randomly met Kimberly Marvel at a time when all my models bailed on me at the last minute for a big shoot. At that point it was the biggest shoot in my young producing career. She brought a model friend over and we shot some of my best content ever. That was also luck.

Most everybody works hard in this business. Some work harder than others because it’s their sole source of income. Others have more life obligations (family, other jobs besides fetish, etc). So I think that luck plays a role in our successes, at least it did in mine.

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